Most women have surgery very soon after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Because of the specific type of breast cancer I have, there was not a rush to get me under the knife. It grows reallllly slowly.
So, I’ve had a few months to mentally prepare for The Big Day…..aka February 20.
(I was a wreck the week before chemo, though!)
During this time, I’ve felt so much support from friends, family and even total strangers.
I want to share with you the questions I’m most frequently asked for two reasons:
- You might be going through this too, and I want you to know what kind of questions are on my friend’s minds.
- You might not know me at all but are curious about the nitty-gritty details.
The Top Five Questions I’m Most Often Asked
1. How are you REALLY feeling?
Here’s the truth: I don’t feel like I have a borderline Stage 2 invasive cancer growing inside me. I haven’t slowed down at all (see question #2) and my breast doesn’t hurt. As I’m writing this, it is January 30 and you still cannot feel a lump in my breast tissue. So, all in all, I feel GREAT!
I look & feel better than I have in years! Last May, I embarked upon a 12 Week Weight-loss Challenge, and had shed 20 pounds by July. I’ve continued to lose weight this fall and am wearing clothes that have been in the back of my closet for years!
That said, I have noticed a quiet decline in my day to day stamina. After 6pm-ish, I am done. Literally useless. My energy seems to drain all at once, and I hit a wall. This started a little bit during the holidays, and I chalked it up to my crazy Christmas schedule. We mama’s do it ALL during December, don’t we?
But, now I’m noticing it on more of a daily basis. And on the weekends. Copa & I have trimmed back social obligations significantly so I can have proper down time.
Unless it is a very special occasion, like a dear friend’s milestone birthday, we limit evening plans! 
It’s like I have to remind myself “Heather, you have cancer. It’s ok to be tired!” By keeping my weekend schedule open and simple, I am able to maintain a full, normal weekday schedule!
So, in a nutshell, I feel like the healthiest sick person in the world!
2. Are you still working full time?
You bet! I am happiest when I am productive, and I absolutely love what I do professionally outside of caring for my family. Copa and I became emptynesters when I was 43 & he was 44…….youngsters! So, I have time on my hands to devote myself in a professional capacity to an organization. And, I enjoy this blog & Totally Tailgates on the side, too!
I became a stay at home mom at the age of 24.
While my peers were exploring careers & happy hours, I was learning about teething and bottle sterilization! Copa & I decided to start our family while we were young, and I was blessed to be able to stay home and raise our daughter. These early years of our marriage and our family’s start was truly the summertime of my life. Precious memories.
That smile. My sweet baby girl. Circa 1997.
I’m so glad to know that my breast cancer tested negative for the BRAC1 gene so I can’t pass this cancer on to her!
The pic above was taken Easter Weekend right outside of our Fellowship Hall at church. My baby girl saw the Easter Bunny right as Copa snapped the photo….she did not like that bunny!
Even as a housewife & stay at home mom, I kept myself busy when our daughter started elementary school. (Remember my comment about productivity?!?)
I was active in civic, philanthropic and religious organizations. I served as President of the United Methodist Women at our church, and was PTA President at the 8th largest private day school in the country. Yep, I like being active! 🙂
When our daughter finished middle school and entered high school, I knew I wanted to do something outside of the volunteer arena and so I began to look for a real job. Copa was supportive, and I went back to work full time.
Not even cancer is going to slow this girl down…..
3. Why are you having a bi-lateral mastectomy if the cancer is only in one breast?
As you know, I was a zero risk for breast cancer. While the chances of the cancer “moving” into the other breast are super slim because I tested negative for the BRAC1 gene, I didn’t want to take the chance. Hey, I wasn’t supposed to get it in the first breast!
My doctor gave me the choice to decide, as well as lots of information so I could gauge pros and cons.
The option to “save” the breast and just remove the cancer was not possible – my lobuluar cancer has spread and is invasive.
There was not a neat, tidy lump to remove. My type of breast cancer spreads like a web in and out of breast tissue….so removing the entire breast is the only viable option to remove all of the cancer.
I knew right from the start that I would have to lose my entire left breast to be cancer free. It was the right breast that presented options….
This was an emotional decision, but as I move closer to February 20, I’m so glad I will have a solid peace of mind in the years to come.
I opted for a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. The photo above is where I selected to have my surgery – Celebration Health Women’s Comprehensive Breast Center. It looks like a country club and is a Christ centered facility.
I do not yet know if the cancer has moved into my lymph nodes. The surgeon will do a sentinel node biopsy during the mastectomy to see. Our family will learn the results in a week or so.
4. But you are getting new boobs – isn’t this a great bright side to your situation?!?
That’s what I originally thought, too!
However, I googled images of what a non-nipple sparring mastectomy looked like in real life.
BIG MISTAKE.
I bawled and cried and felt really sorry for myself….and for COPA! He didn’t deserve to have a wife with scars running up and down her chest. The girl he picked out when he was 20 will look a lot different at 47.
I decided to put on my Big Girl Panties and accept that at least I would be cancer free – that’s the goal, right?
And my sweet, kind husband has been so accepting and loving. I can’t tell you what an honor it is to be his wife and to have him right by my side during this chapter in my life.
Between his dedication to me….to us…..my daughter’s unwavering support…..and for the incredible surgeons on my team, I know that while I will look different I will still be ME.
5. If they are doing immediate reconstruction, you will be all set after February 20th, right?
Once again, this was what I thought would happen!
Here’s the deal: my surgeon is removing all of my breast tissue and nipples. Normally, when a woman has breast augmentation (a.k.a. fake boobs) the silicon or saline breast implant is simply inserted and rests on her existing breast tissue.
When you have a mastectomy, breast tissue is gone and hence there is no where for the implant to rest.
So, the plastic surgeon will insert temporary expanders to stretch the breast in preparation for the final implant.
Here is a good video explaining how the expander works.
After a few weeks, I will visit my plastic surgeon who will inject a saline solution to fill the expanders. These “fills” will take place every week or every few weeks until my desired size is achieved.
Finally, I will go in for a final surgery in which the expanders are removed and implants are inserted. I’ve been told this procedure is super easy, just like a breast augmentation, and much less painful than the expander surgery.
The pic above shows an expander – doesn’t that look soft & comfy?!? UGH. I’ve been told having implants inserted is such a relief from the hard expanders!
As long as the cancer has not moved into my lymph nodes, I most likely will not have chemo!
If you have questions, please email me at totallytatas at gmail dot com!
PS: I am not a medical doctor, I’m a mom! The information offered here at Totally Tatas is my own interpretation and is specific to my situation. Information here should not be construed as medical advice! Go see your own doctor for medical opinions and advice.
